A momentous journey of 10 days… June 8, 2009Posted by tharinid in Divine Inspiration, Sai Center.
The past 10 days has been perhaps, one of the most momentous times of my life. And to think I almost missed the opportunity to get on board!
I had made my peace with not going on the pilgrimage this time. I was really okay with it. And I also wanted to help out in any way possible. So when the opportunity came, I signed up and offered my services on Photoshop, given that I potter around with it all the time. And then I promptly forgot all about it too. All until, I got the mail 10 days ago, asking to be part of a conference call, to aid in the designing of a booklet to be given to Swami.
Throughout that day, I gave in to my oscillating mind, one moment excited at the opportunity to be part of something in this pilgrimage, and at the other swinging extreme, overcome with inertia to pick up the phone and be part of a call with a bunch of strangers. And till the very last moment, I wasn’t sure I was going to do it. Somehow, the kids were in bed, I got out of the room, and picked up the phone and dialled. And THAT was the start of my own personal pilgrimage. It has every element in it possible….the highs, the lows, the challenges, the triumphs, small and big, (but even the small was so big), new acquaintances turning friends, kinship, common goal, group effort, personal sacrifices, loss of sleep, days of being a night owl, working to deliver on time, working to iron out every imperfection for that ultimate masterpiece of effort, telephone calls late into the night, brainstorming, chats on multiple windows at every time of day….the regular, daily tasks to be performed on the side, meals to be cooked, kids to be dropped off, work to be attended to, sickness, doctor’s visits, fresh meals, getting through the day with bleary eyes and a beleaguered body but defiant soul……last minute printing fiascos, that left me weak in the knees wondering if it would ever get done, and then….that moment of final deliverance, when the outcome was finally certain and in the hands of the right people…..aahhh, He saw me through it all. During this period of intense work, I was in constant dialogue with Him. He was the one I spoke to the most, out of all the people in my life put together and it was His counsel that saw me through desperate times…or what seemed like desperate times in my limited micro view of it all.
When I handed it over on Saturday evening, the sense of relief was immense, but so was the sense of emptiness that I knew would follow soon after. Its always like that isn’t it…when you live, eat, breathe, and see only one thing for a spell of time, it becomes YOU, and when it has to leave you…you are so spent, so hollow with the resounding silence of that departure. What keeps me going now are the memories of some of those times…and the words that I received from the people who appreciated this book. My Center President told me this, and I will never forget it….He said…You may not be going on this pilgrimage, but your EFFORT is going there, even before all of us. It was only then that I realise what I had been involved in, and how huge my responsibility had been. Because till that point, it had been about working on my favorite software, with the chance to practice the art of paying attention to the smallest detail and perfecting it to my fullest satisfaction, fit for the King of Kings and the Lord of the Universe.
Dear Sweet Lord….I am eternally grateful and eternally in Your debt.
Jai Sai Ram!