Jiva to Atma

Today is the first day of the New Year. And I started it right by going for a 9:30 class at my gym. I prefer the group classes on most days because of the amazing energy that working out in a group brings. And this is a very special class called the Zumba mix. Its basically a dance based workout….a bit of salsa, samba, merengue…you name it. And the whole experience is so intensely spiritual….its breathtaking.

I have peeped in on this class before I finally ventured in one fine day. Usually, you see something dance based and you shy away from it thinking….nah…I could never do that! And then, one day…you just manage to swallow all your inhibitions and decide to try it out. At the beginning of the class, you always feel so stiff and awkward, like you could never move. The first 5 minutes are agonising, you keep checking yourself out in the mirror and notice the awkwardness and the complete lack of natural grace. You wish you could just get out and get on the treadmill or something. You think everyone else is just soooo… much better than you. How do they move like dancers so easily…you wonder. Never is the feeling of divisiveness more keenly felt, and the feeling of I…you….them. You see everyone around you as separate from you. You see yourself as a lone unit. But you get on with the class anyway, because you’re in it now, and it’d be even more awkward to walk out. *sigh*….so much of ego is so crippling.

The music changes. That’s kind of the nice thing about this zumba mix class. Its made up of small segments of music to which you follow the instructor’s moves. And the music is so catchy and energetic. Some of that energy somehow finds its way into you. Encouraged, you begin to loosen up…slowly. Everytime one track ends, the anticipation builds up to see what the next track will sound like. In those little gaps between the music, people clap a little to signify their enjoyment and look around the room and smile at one another. It breaks the ice. And some of that enjoyment rubs off on you too. The smiles relax you…and you start smiling too. The music starts and you get into it with a lot more gusto now. It ceases to matter how you move and how you compare with everyone else around you. Everyone is just here for a workout…and what a fun way this is to do that!

I have always believed that the rhythm of music beats in everyone of us. And if we didn’t let our egos work overtime and just gave in to the beautiful sensual pleasure of the music, you can actually become one with it, and have it move you. Its a very very sublime moment….being one with the music that has the capacity to enter your soul. Because once it does, it doesn’t matter whether you are supposed to shake your hips, or time the movement of your left hand with your left leg…the music just moves you in a way that will keep the perfect union going. When the ego gets out of the way, you finally stop being so conscious, and are open to let the energy flow, unhindered. You movements automatically become more graceful and fluid. And your face has a smile….from the joy of it all.

The ecstasy continues so long as the ego remains mute. But the minute it expresses itself, even in a whisper, the spell is broken and the awareness erects a wall and separates you from the rest again. To continue the union in a single uninterrupted flow  is not easy, not easy at all….but when you have even a faint idea of it, you feel liberated. From all your notions of what you are, how you should be, and all your judgements about others. Its really wonderful.

I ended that class pink cheeked and flushed and so darn pleased with myself for sticking it out and having such fun. When the class ended, everyone was beaming at everyone else, and it was obvious that on some levels, they had all experienced their own unique unions. I guess we’re not that different after all!