Jiva to Atma

This is a continuation of the theme from my earlier post. Where the ‘I’ desires and the universe conspires. I remember the time I wrote this post on W-Way. This was a time that I was very unhappy with myself as a mother and as a person. It was a time of honest assessment and I was able to distinctly identify the things that were holding me back from my true happiness. Among the many comments I got, I also received a mail from a seeker on the path who wanted to share the insights she had received from her Guru. In her mail were the words…acceptance of yourself as you are, acceptance of God as you believe him and acceptance of the world as is.

This was exactly what I was struggling with. Those words gave me immediate calm. And I realised that in the place of all ideals to be a better version of myself, I also need to be happy with what I am. I cannot say that it was instantly achieved, but the seed of thought has been sown and I will nurture it every way I can. So this was yet another way in which I got an answer to something that was eating me up from within.

I subscribed to the Nithyananda newsletter and reading it everyday has given me some wonderful insights into the practical aspects of meditation, something I could have definitely benefited from in these initial baby steps I am currently taking. So yet another push for me from the external world to aid in my desire for Self-Knowledge.

In one of the newsletters, I read something very harsh and something that I thought I would never be able to do. Look at my body as something beautiful. The gist is this: it is only through your body that you can practice meditation and experience advanced states of consciousness. It is only in this form of body that we can ever hope to get to the truth about life and creation. So it is our duty to treat it as a temple and love it, cherish it and take care of it.

This was harsh for me to accept because for the longest time, I have had nothing but negative feelings towards my body and w.r.t my weight and wanting to lose weight. I have never been at peace with my body all throughout my life. Its been a lifetime of being at odds with something that is my vessel in this life. How much this attitude of mine has hurt me so far? How much of growth it has already impeded? And yet, seeing all this, I still couldn’t shake those feelings off. So once again, a seed was sown.

The water for this seed came in the form of this post from someone whose life has always inspired me. With that water, it took a little root, and today when I was having my customary conversation with Uma (my son’s teacher)…she talked about this same point in passing and I was amazed! I know its no simple coincidence but the power of the Universe once again giving me the sign to commit to this.

And here I am at this juncture. So much more at peace than where I found myself at the start. I am slowly understanding what acceptance of this given body means and I am looking at myself in a new light.

Life, as it is unfolding right now, is just a.m.a.z.i.n.g!