Road Rage… October 26, 2007
Posted by tharinid in Self discipline.4 comments
My biggest failing is impatience. It always has been impatience, and this one negative trait has a domino effect on my life in the problems that it creates. This same impatience, also extends to the roads when I am driving. I don’t seem to like speed limits much. I always feel the need to go at least 5 mph above the prescribed limit. And when I am on the road, I am not a benevolent driver. I don’t feel kindly towards other drivers. If its an especially slow driver just in front of me, I huff and I puff in exasperation, and try to find the closest gap in which I can hop over to the next lane, overtake the slow tortoise and just be on my way! If its a fast and reckless driver, I cuss and wonder aloud what all the hurry is about. I shake my head and think he is crazy. And I make flat judgements if I see that it is a lady driver. I don’t have a good opinion of women drivers. If someone from the next lane indicates with a signal that he wants to come to my lane, my first basic instinct is to speed ahead and not give him the leeway. In short, I have a lot of road rage. And its a disease.
Which gets ahold of you in the most unobtrusive way possible and turns you into a demon, capable of the most vile thoughts. But where there is a grave problem, there is also HOPE. And for me that hope lies in this quest I have undertaken. To find the true nature of my soul. This quest….is bringing amazing possibilities my way. And by making me introspect, it is making me hit gently on the brakes, slow down a little and just go on cruise mode. It is extinguishing the volatile flames of my impatience and anger, and dousing it a bit. The aftermath is a cool silence.
Now, when an especially slow driver navigates ahead of me, my first instant reaction is still impatience, but coming quickly in its wake…is also a little prayer of acknowledgement. Thank you dear driver, for helping me slow down my life. Thank you for helping me adhere to speed limits. Thank you for making me a little slower and a lot more safe. God bless you.
When a car weaves recklessly in and out of traffic, missing collisions by a hair’s breadth, I do still shake my head. But its with a lot more humility than before. And it is followed by another prayer…Oh fast one…pray…don’t rush so. Pay heed to your safety and that of others. Slow down. May God keep you safe from yourself, always.
When someone gives me room to change lanes comfortably, I bless his soul and feel eternally grateful and send vibes of goodwill his way.
And when someone wants to shift lanes, I back off a little, give him the room he needs and think…Welcome to my lane…do let us be pleasant travellers.
My impatience is slowly evaporating, even when I am running late. For if I am running late, it is because of my own disorganisation in being unable to make good time. What use is it to curse other drivers and signals and generally wreak havoc with my thoughts?? And more than anything else, I realise that in speeding up to get someplace…I am only saving like what….1 min? 2 ? 10 ? Big deal! And whenever I feel like speeding, I stop and think…Is this a matter of life and death?Just that one simple question and the answer is always a flat and resounding NO. Nothing is sooo important or crucial that I have to unleash my impatience, and jeopardise my safety, my children’s safety and my fellow travellers. NOTHING.
And so…everyday as I pull out the driveway, I look to the Ganesha figurine on my dashboard and say silently to the great cosmic charioteer….Oh Parthasarathy…please be my Sarathy!